Friday, January 26, 2007

The Loving Husband


The Loving Husband

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: “Hello.”

WOMAN: “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”

MAN: “Yes.”

WOMAN: “I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It’s only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?”

MAN: “Sure, ...go ahead if you like it that much.”

WOMAN: “I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2004 models. I saw one I really liked.”

MAN: “How much?”

WOMAN: “$80,000”

MAN: “OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.”

WOMAN: “Great! Oh, and one more thing…the house we wanted last year is back on the market. They’re asking $950,000.”

MAN: “Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000.”

WOMAN: “OK. I’ll see you later! I love you!”

MAN: “Bye, I love you, too.”

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.

Then he asks, “Anyone know who this phone belongs to?”

English Signs in Non-English speaking countries


English Signs in Non-English speaking countries

A cocktail lounge in Norway:
“Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.”

A restaurant in Nairobi:
“Customers who find our servers rude ought to see the manager.”

Athi River Highway leaving Nairobi:
“Take notice: When this sign is under water, this road is impassable.”

A poster in Kencom:
“Are you an adult that cannot read? If so, we can help.”

In a city restaurant:
“Open seven days a week and weekends.”

A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:
“Do not activate with wet hands.”

In a cemetery:
“Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.”

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
“Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.”

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
“You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily, except Thursday.”

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
“Would you like to ride on your own ass?”

The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:
“Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.”

Airline ticket office in Copenhagen:
“We take your bags and send them in all directions.”